easydamsel
" blessings from the mercs "
thrump thrump thrump
the fuzzles come bounding into the room, pulling a cart full of cackling cheery
blossoms.
everyone settles into a circle, alternating fuzzle, cheery, fuzzle
slowly a chant begins to circle the room:
birthday cake and candles too,
streamers, sparklers, hullabaloo,
we think you re special,
we think you re great,
we are all here to celebrate.
we wish you money and lots of toys,
we chant it loud with lots of noise.
we hope to day is special and fun,
and that your birthday is second to none.
but if you doubt us just one bit,
our spell will make your underpants split.
we ll make you howl with an itchy rash,
we ll make your neopets website crash.
we ll turn all your groceries into toads,
we ll chase your housecat down the road.
we ll dance and sing as time permits,
while your hair turns green and gives you fits.
remember always that we are evil,
and continue our plans to cause world upheaval.
our blessings may not mean much to you,
but always let this thing remain true:
you d rather have us on your team,
than working against you to make you scream.
sincerely,
superfly crispix
spokesfuzzle for the waffle iron of justice
easydamsel
" Re: blessings from the mercs "
oh you silly little beastie, iron cherrio!
(referred to by your human friends as easdyamsel)
how dare you critique our brilliant writings?
how about we teach you a stanza or two in PAIN!!
muwhah hah hah!
blood of bat and skin of newt,
fill easydamsel's sandals up with fruit,
make her mailbox full of spammed emails,
let all her neopoints turn to snails,
let her itch and twitch,
let her wail and whine,
may she learn her lesson well this time...
no one mocks us, no one laughs,
no one critiques us, or crosses our paths.
we are mighty, we are tough,
we'll lift this spell when you've suffered enough!
muahhahhahahahaha!
sincerley,
rowdy raisin bran piper
offical curse composer
waffle iron of justice
mundayne
Once I had a little Grundo.... "
....Blogin was his name,
He thought I was fantastic,
I thought 'bout him the same.
I took him to the secret lab,
All expectant and excited,
He turned into an evil skieth,
The colour of united.
The next day we went back,
Distressed about his hue,
I'd paid alot for those maps,
Crikey, he just turned blue.
One more try and wishing,
A better change to render,
The ray gun it was fired,
Blimey, now he's changed his gender!!
easydamsel
" fuzzle's revenge "
a fuzzles rage is a thing to fear.
be careful now, don't get too near!
a curse is cast now for CARLINKY:
that her feet be mighty stinky.
and if that fate alone were not too rotten.
her cruel fuzzle comments will not be forgotten.
for the rest of the night, on into next week,
bubbles will fly from her mouth when she speaks!
let this be a lesson to you, carlinky, my sweet,
remember it clearly while you are smelling your feet!
fuzzles have feelings, and they get hurt too.
would you like it if cheap insults were posted at you?
we'd like to forgive you,
and drop this whole curse,
so apologise quickly,
or we'll invent something worse!
mundayne
" Blogin was a grundo.... "
....he was a work of art,
He used to read in corners,
He thought himself real smart.
But an accident befell him,
He got spikes along his body,
He'd turned into a skeith,
That ray gun he thought shoddy.
But help was at hand,
He's cooing now in adulation,
Coz that bright spark known as Laurie,
Presented him with transmogrification.
And what a hunk he is now! Wow!!
chelsealuv
" Poem for the members of bofh "
Wizards and duckies and fuzzles oh my
That's what they'll say when they slip through our door of time
Me? Personally I'm a Guru
And I fly around with my magical shoes
My dads new wife is just like me and we like to talk about numerous things
A wizard my dad may be
sought out by Merlin his cat siemease
We've got our masters
who like to talk about hamsters
We've got perfection
who's nothing like an infection
We've got imagination
who's nothing like a duck stuck out in the desert heat
We've got our Absolut
who likes to toot about forbidden fruit
We've got our last two
Rainbow and Artisic
Who are bound together in the castle Majestic!!!!
Love as always,
chelsealuv
" Death "
Death,
like a whirlwind of hell once you take it your under it's spell
Like hate it brings pain but for those who hurt it's a gain
It takes away the pain life brings but who knows what misery it may bring
Blinding
like the darkest black nite
the most scariest of all hells
as you lie transformed under it's spell
Death
it may bring you relief
but for those around you leaves only grief.
It will make them think of how there are no more goodbyes as your body floats
toward the beautiful sky.
Tears will fall from their eyes
as they sit down and start to cry
Remembering the sweet moments of eternal bliss
Who knew death could ever feel like this??
As you look down and around
you hear a bunch of sound
People clustering around one another as though they might be next
When the crowd finally parts you begin to understand
That's not just anyone
that's you lying cold and dead in the sand.
12-10-99
Chelsealuv
P.S. is that better rhyming?
chelsealuv
" Poem "
I sit here wondering about all the cruelity in the world
And tears start to fall from my eyes
I tell myself to be strong
because in the long run they'll be the ones to fall
And when they fall I will reach out a helping hand because somehow,somewhere
I need to make a stand
I need to stop the hate
I don't know when and i don't know how but somehow,somewhere I will make that
stand by lending out my hand.
When they make some cruel remark I'll just smile and walk away
For I know in my heart that I'll be the one to make it to the end of the race
I just can't wait to see the look on their face!!
2-3-00
Chelsealuv
gambitsjami
" THE PACT OF THE FIRE Part 1 "
When the world was created, First Man and First Woman struggled to stay alive
and warm through the first winter. First Dog struggled also.
Deep in the winter, First Dog gave birth to her pups. Each night, she huddled
in the brush of the forest, longingly watching the fire, which kept First Man
and First Woman warm.
First winter was severe, so cold that First Dog dared not leave her pups to
search for food to fill her own belly, fearing that her pups would freeze to
death in her absence. She curled around them, but the wind was bitter. Her belly
shrank with hunger, and soon she had no milk.
The smallest pup perished, and First Dog felt her own life draining away as
she struggled to care for the remaining pups. Fearing for the fate of the others,
she knew she had no choice but to approach the fire and ask First Woman and
First Man to share their food and the fire's warmth.
" THE PACT OF THE FIRE Part 2 "
Slowly, she crept to the fire and spoke to First Woman, who was heavy with
child. I am a mother, said First Dog, and soon you will be a mother too. I want
my little ones to survive, just as you will want your little one to survive.
So I will ask you to make a pact. First Woman and First Man listened. I am about
to die. Take my pups. You will raise them and call them Dog. They will be your
guardians. They will alert you to danger, keep you warm, guard your camp, and
even lay down their life to protect your life and the lives of your children.
They will be companions to you and all your generations, never leaving your
side, as long as Mankind shall survive. In return, you will share your food
and the warmth of your fire. You will treat my children with love and kindness,
and tend to them if they become ill, just as if they were born from your own
belly. And if they are in pain, you will take a sharp knife to their throat,
and end their misery. In exchange for this, you will have the loyalty of my
children and all their offspring until the end of time.
" THE PACT OF THE FIRE Part 3 "
First Man and First Woman agreed. First Dog went to her nest in the brush,
and with the last of her strength, one by one, she brought her pups to the fire.
As she did so, First Woman gave birth to First Child, wrapped her in Rabbit
skins, and nestled First Child among the pups by the fireside. First Dog lay
down by the fire, licked her pups, then walked away to die under the stars.
Before she disappeared into the darkness, she turned and spoke once more to
First Man "My children will honor this pact for all generations. But if
Man breaks this pact, if you or your children's children deny even one Dog food,
warmth, a kind word or a merciful end, your generations will be plagued with
war, hunger and disease, and so this shall remain until the pact is honored
again by all Mankind." With this, First Dog entered the night, and returned
in spirit to the creator.
Lakota Sioux Legend
The Pact of the Fire
jade_fighter
10:29PM
11/15/2001
" Re: To Help... "
Here goes...
Turkey, turkey, it's so nummy,
Cos' it sits well in yer tummy,
Lots'a gravy, lots'a stuffing,
It looks pretty, I ain't bluffing.
Please give onions, please give 'taters,
No, no veggies, have those laters,
Punkin, pecan, apple pie,
Get so stuffed but gotta try.
All the uncles, all the cousins,
Cram their faces fulla muffins.
All the aunts and sister souls,
Cram their faces fulla rolls.
All the nummy things to eat,
All the savouries and sweets,
All the time it took to bake,
Leaves me just a tummy-ache!
...it's no wonder they start Xmas in July.
jade_fighter
05:51PM
11/18/2001
'The Rigours of Washing Dishes by Hand, as Painfully Discovered by jade.'
Well I ain't no one's model child,
I'm brash, irreverent, loud and wild,
But when my mum says "Chores. Today."
I do 'em (snorts) without delay.
Now washing dishes ain't that bad,
We have a washer, and I'm glad,
But it's all broken, and won't rinse,
"Then do by hand," she sez. I wince.
I asked her 'bout this ancient art,
And listened well with all my heart,
Then she went off and left me 'lone,
To take those nasty dishes on.
I threw the dishes in the sink,
And filled it up in half a blink,
With lots'a water, tepid not,
I stuck my hands in, Yelled "Ow, hot!"
I raced out barefoot in the snow,
Where it is warm at ten below,
And stuck my hands into the ice,
And thought 'Oyes, now this is nice.'
As if that weren't already strife,
I cut my finger on a knife.
"Sharp things bad," this I must heed,
When next time I don't want'a bleed.
Bandaged now, my fingers minced,
I, like a nut, do fail to rinse.
So come lunchtime, I feel the dope.
My smoked ham ramen tastes like soap.
The end point: this was lots of trouble.
I hiccough apple-scented bubbles,
Look at my fingers, cuts and blister,
And next time, shift the work to sister.